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I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.Other lady:I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank...thinks he’s straight.The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move, answered the child innocently.“You did. That part had caught me a bit off guard.Despite all I'd read and been told, on some unconscious level I had feltwell, estrogen, it was gonna bliss me out or something; that I'd befloating off on some pink cloud of my own glorious femininity. I figuredmaybe I would cry more over movies or whatever, but not how damnFRUSTRATED every little thing could make me. And anger too. Wasn't thatone of those "male" emotions that I would be leaving behind? Yeah, right.It was quite a roller coaster, as this. More

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