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"No standing up, I've cleaned enough splashesto date with you being a boy." OK, sure," I replied carefully."And you need to wipe front to back." Mum."...Oh and we'll need to get you period pills." Mum!" You don't know how lucky you are girls do not to have to deal withperiods any more. Still you'll need to deal with a few of them when youwant to have kids." MUM!" Yes, well I guess we have time for that," she said, and then her facesplit in a huge grin "It's going to be so fun having a daughter. I. Unless, of course, they were about to fry some onions.Hence, I had an apron on. A very silly, old apron, that someone had given to me, thinking, 'yeah, Phil can wear that at barbecues,' Actually, probably thinking, 'oh shit, it's December 24, and I haven't bought Phil anything.' Still, it had been used. Even if it was corny, with it's stupid 'Kiss the Cook' picture, it did serve an important purpose in standing between my genitals and cooking oil hissing and spitting on the stove top.Of. More

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